Date: February 14, 2009
Author: Tegan
Publication: teganandsara.org
Headline: January 2009 Ask Tegan

Dear Tegan,

My name is Emilia and my twin sister Michelle and I are big fans. We are teenagers and we fight constantly! We have stupid little arguments all the time. We were wondering if you guys used to fight a lot when you were younger and did this die out as you got older? What changed?
Emilia

Emilia,

Sara and I used to fight a lot. We grew out of it. You will too. Next time you guys are fighting ask for a time out. Walk away. Give each other time to relax. Then get a pen and paper and take turns writing down what the issue is. Guaranteed a lot of times you are arguing about different stuff. Try to have your own identity. Remember that you are your own person. Everyone will try to see you as ONE person but you are TWO. Having your own friends, your own interests and your own identity is HUGE. You can still be co-dependant and share stuff but make sure there is space. Most of all love each other.

Good luck!


Dear Tegan,

You became a musician partly because you didn't know what else you wanted to do with your life, right? I can't seem to decide what I want to do, and meaningless hourly jobs depress me. What career path would you recommend for a young talented gal with superior academics and a craftiness like no other?

Zoe

P.S. Unfortunately, getting a job anywhere is tough because they want me to cut off my hair. I just can't do it. I'm really attached to my dreads, emotionally and physically.

Hey Zoe!!

Wow Dreads! That might make some jobs difficult to get but...I would think there would be a lot of alternative work spaces that would love them! Your crafty? Why not start your own business and while you'll have to do other stuff to subsidize your expenses to start maybe you''ll be the next Built By Wendy or something? Maybe next time you see someone with dreads you should ask the where they work? You sound smart and creative...keep your spirits up. Don't get frustrated. What about a career counsellor?

Some suggestions...What about an organizer for a political group? Or a camp director? Write a book? What about a tutor?

Good Luck!


Dear Tegan,

Iím 16 years old and I would like to know if your family fully supported you and Sara when you both were my age or if they told you to grow up and think of real jobs?

Shelby

Hey Shelby,

When Sara and I were teenagers we got part-time jobs. I hated having to work but I really liked going out with my friends and that meant I needed money. My parents still gave me money from time to time but they thought it was important we keep busy. For a while Sara and I were volunteers at a Teen Line. What about if you volunteer? Would your parents give you spending money?

Good Luck!


Dear Tegan,

One of my new colleagues is constantly trying to bring me down by gossiping about me. It's really getting to me, but Iím not sure how to deal with the situation. (I sometimes wish I could just punch them in the face like you often banter about!) I was wondering how you would recommend dealing with this situation. Iím starting to feel like I canít trust anybody.

Liesie

Dear Liesie,

I've only had a real job twice and both times everyone I worked with got along with me. Mainly because I worked alone. Ha. No seriously. I think that you should address the issue. Try to use 'i' statements. Like " (co-worker) I feel like there is an issue between. Its important to me that we get along. What can I do to make things better between us". If this doesn't work... maybe go to someone with authority and ask for mediation?

Good luck!


Dear Tegan,

Iím interested in a girl and trying to get her to notice me. Whatís the corniest thing you've done for someone you liked? And what is the simplest thing a girl can do that will get you falling for her fast?

Sarah

Hey Sarah,

You know I've always fallen for my friends. I've only dated people I've met out and about a few times. Generally its all about the vibe in those cases. I tend to be VERY silly when I like someone. Lots of jokes and rapid arm movement. I'm NOT the person to really be asking this question come to think of it! ha.

In the past the people I've liked have known because I am quite sweet and intense. I like to write songs for girls. Sometimes its about being friends first. Lay the ground work, spend LOTS of time together. Write emails and tell her EVERYTHING about you. Then she'll fall madly in love.

If someone wants to make me fall in love they need to be sweet and cute and smart and VERY aggressive. But they also have to play hard to get. BUT only once I know they like me! Ha.

Good luck!